I've only bin dumped once, which I'm eternally grateful for(but at the time i felt like a puddle of piss ).
My career IS always stalling or taking a nosedive, due to some 'ill health and misfortune', but mostly down to my ever-growing disillusionment with an ever-increasingly shoddy industry; dumb and dull PlayStation-generation comics, editors who change minds at the last minute, and writers who never keep their word.
And sometimes, there's just better things to do.
My first rented property had a leaky roof AND a leaky ceiling. More the fault of dope-loving cowboy builders than a gypsy curse(though they could've bin related.)
Our boiler has never conked out, good job, since I'm not even sure where it is.
In the last five years the TV has bin replaced once, cus we wanted a bigger one - the screen is a lot easier to hit with a sponge house brick
Yes, broke specs many times, and also dropped a contact lense down the bog.
Burn toast often(that's how the birds like it), good job there's no batteries in the smoke alarm, cus my ears would be bleeding.
Don't miss doctors appointments, just turn up late, or on the wrong day.
There's no such thing as 'buses'.
Yeah, forget a lot of birthdays, but never my own.
Tread in dog shit rarely(even though we have a dog and a garden full of poo-mines) - usually it's cat shit.
Never walked into a lamppost, but I've seen a lamppost walk.
Don' drink red wine, but spilling Ribena is just as bad.
Never burn my hands since years of intense pencil-squeezing have robbed them of feeling...
Editors and writers - see above.
Only crashed the computer once, but we were drunk and well over the speed limit.
And, yes, like the sun going down, and the moon a-rising, Tiscali and Blogger remain forever shite.
Better add some pictures quick...
Son of Droop.
Cousin of Droop.
Sketching a look for two vampire characters, for a comic in progress.